I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
as a side note pls kill me
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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