My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
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