Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
