I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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