I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
