i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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