So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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