I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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