college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
