We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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