you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
