I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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