I can't watch pbs sober anymore
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
