i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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