My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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