Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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