Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Randomize
