Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
