you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
