I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
