The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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