epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
