I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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