I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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