he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
