mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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