It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
