i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
