But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
