Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Randomize
