Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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