My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Randomize
