Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
