I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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