Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
