either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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