is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
not ubering you a puppy
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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