Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
did you just send me my own nude
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
