Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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