those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
