The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
