We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
