Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
