How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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