im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
