p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
