I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
