these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
