Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
