this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
