Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
