I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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