Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
